


Frankensmut Lite

by KawaiiGroovycat



Category: Frankenstein - Mary Shelley
Genre: Just some random stupid shit I wrote one day, M/M, Please like it, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-19 09:09:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22441930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KawaiiGroovycat/pseuds/KawaiiGroovycat
Summary: I don't even know how to describe it other than as a love triangle between Frankenstein, his creature, and Satan
Relationships: Victor Frankenstein/Frankenstein's Creature
Comments: 5
Kudos: 11





	Frankensmut Lite

**Author's Note:**

> This is just some dumb shit I randpmly wrote a little while back. The only thing you need to know is that I named Frankenstein's Creature Cardi because he needed a name and I wanted the bougiest name possible for him.

The OG Cardi stood there, looking at his master.

Victor gazed upon Cardi's decaying visage. His black, soulless sacs of nerves and fluid peered into Cardi's red squishy head balls.

"V-V-Victor-sama..." Cardi stuttered nervously, his face redder than the blood of Victor's first wife.

"Yes, my little pet?" Victor said, smiling as if he had drunk too much formaldehyde.

"UUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHH," Cardi growled in love.

"Just spit it out already, creature!" Victor yelled. "If you keep wasting my time, I won't buy you another tooth!"

"I LOVE YOU VICTOR-SAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!" Cardi screeched.

"I know you do, but you know I sold my sister to Satan and cant love anyone now."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Cardi screamed in agony and despair. "Just when I can finally love a human!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Suddenly, Satan appeared in a poof of magical red smoke, his abs glistening in the torch light.

"Yeaaaaaaaaaah, about that, Dr. Frankenstein," Satan said, "I've had your sister for a while now, and to be honest, she's really annoying. I want Cardi instead!"

"You can't have Cardi, he's mine!" Victor yelled.

"I dare you to try putting up with her! All she does is cry and whine all the time! 'How could onii-chan do this to me?!' 'I want my mommy and daddy!' Yeah, there's not enough Sunny-D in Hell to drink my sorrows away!"

Cardi looked at Victor and his frizzy, wiry hair, and then he looked at Satan and his glistening 72-pack. Cardi didn't know what to do!

"I belong to Victor-sama," Cardi said, "but Victor-sama doesn't love me."

"Come to Hell with me!" Satan said. "I make a bomb lasagna!"

"You're my creation, Cardi!" Victor said. "You belong to me alone."

Suddenly, the three dudebros heard a shriek from a girl!

"ONII-CHAAAAAAAAN!" the girl screamed.

"Is it too late to sell my own soul to you, Satan?" Victor asked.

"What are you doing here, Elizabeth?!" Satan snarled. "I thought I told you to stay back and finish your lasagna!"

"Yeah, well I'm allergic to tomato!" The evidence was clear on her swollen face. "I'm going back to onii-chan!"

"No you're not," Victor said. "Since you're no longer in Hell, I can love again! I'm gonna move to Zimbabwe with my new husband Cardi!"

"Oh, Victor-sama!" Cardi's red seeing thingies watered as he ran to Victor and planted a kiss on his formaldehyde-coated lips.

And then Victor and Cardi Frankenstein moved to Zimbabwe and lived happily ever after in poverty and oppression. Meanwhile, Satan switched from using tomato sauce to pickle relish and won Elizabeth's heart. THE END


End file.
